20 ounces (oh is that why they call it a "venti"!?!) of flavorful tribute blend are coursing their way through my bloodstream as i type and are now radiating through this somewhat hazy smile i put on display.
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i woke up crying this morning, in one of those sleep induced comas aware of everything around me yet so overwhelmed by the reality that only dreams can produce. entranced by images flashing on the forefront of my mind yet unable to force my eyelids open. horrified by the movie that only my troubled and demented mind could conjured.
not only was i trembling and sobbing as consequences of my nightmare, but i was soaked. i was drenched to the core in a nervous sweat. obviously i have too many things weighing on my mind, stressed and out of control. i hate waking up in a panic, in sleep paralysis. i feel so helpless, it just felt so real.
but....it's a new day and i will not let a fictious dream define where i choose to walk.
i found this verse this morning as i was about to start my bible study.
"run from anything that stimulates youthful lust. follow anything that makes you want to do right. pursue faith and love and peace, and enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts."i wanted to share it with you because i think there is a common misconception about lust, like it's only a sexual thing. you can lust after anything: food, power, perfection. the list is really endless.
-2 timothy 2:22
what stimulates my lust?
what makes me want to do right?
who are my companions?
do my companions call on the Lord with pure hearts?
am i eager to do what is right?
am i listening to God's truths and acting when i am called?
"remember, it is a sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it"
-james 4:14
listen, Reader, i am the first to admit my endless offenses against others and the Lord. i mess up, a lot. i am so impossible to deal with sometimes, i hide things behind my hazel eyes that no one should know, and yet i am flawed to a strange perfection (according to my Maker). but also, when i feel convicted on certain aspects, i am working on being the first to turn things around. not necessarily righting my wrongs, but taking steps to and fro to avoid them again.
you know, a caterpillar goes through grueling pain with hopes of becoming a butterfly.
Interesting thought waking up...
ReplyDeleteNo one is so much closer to God that they cannot be instantly snatched up in their own humanity and gripped by their very own demons. Just look at men like Peter and especially David...that's why 2 Tim 2:22 is so important like you pointed out.
With that said..."longing" for can be used in place of this lust so that you can still long for your coffee or other things in life just so that your love of God is seen in this "longing."
When you woke up and had your coffee you can do it in such a way that brings glory to Him...I think you have. It helped you sit and write this didn't it?
Great thoughts.
Thanks always,
kW
I loved the verse you posted from Timothy! It's exactly what I needed to read today (divine blog appointment? haha)
ReplyDeleteYour blog is great, I love hearing your thought processes. It's tough trooping through this human world we're living while keeping God's direction for us in mind.
I've found myself weakened by different types of lust. Lust is so dynamic and I think it's important to realize that in order to recognize the 'lusts' in our life.
Thank you for this great thought provoking post!!
Grits,
DeleteThanks so much for checking out my blog. I was going through some older blog posts and realized i never commented back to you. I hope your walk with Jesus is ever growing! Stay grounded in Him.
Renee