We just ran out of coffee in our tiny little home, so I ventured out and purchased a bit of dark black nectar. I ordered 16 ounces and was "accidentally" given 20 ounces. What a sweet gesture for this tired mom of a congested tiny human. Each day as a mom is a new adventure; however, donning the title of "mom" is no walk in the park. I absolutely adore my little gem and life has taken on a completely new meaning now that he is here.
God is teaching me how much I must rely on him in this new life style adjustment; how no matter what I do, He is in control; no matter how hard I try to do the "mom life" on my own, I'm helpless without Him; how much patience I lack, just how selfish I can be, and how to function on minimal sleep; how my identity is in Christ and not my child. While it is essential to focus on Ezra and make sure I am being the best picture of love he can see, I have to make sure that I am taking care of myself. This might come as a shock, but it can be really overwhelming trying to "take care of yourself." I am sure that might get some "amens" from veteran moms.
It's hard not to question yourself in the first few months of motherhood (and I guess I will find this out, but it might now be a lifelong questioning).
A new mom's very own personhood can get lost in the excitement and tiresomeness of mom life. Though she knows that her identity is in Christ, she may start to question whether she matters anymore now that all eyes are on baby. It is easier listening to the enemy that says you don't matter and no one cares. After all, she has never been a mom before and she is learning to cope with a new body and a new title all while making sure she doesn't fail. It is encouraging to her that everyone is bubbling over with joy at the sight of her new miniature human and that the baby gets showered with endless love and care. Any question directed to a new mom usually centers around how the baby is doing at night or how the baby is eating. Routine is dictated by the little one as well. I know new moms love talking about the milestones their little ones achieve (because I love talking about it), but
from time to time, a new mom might start to question her purpose, her meaning, and she may start to wonder if people are at all interested in her well-being anymore. I'm not saying these things because I desire attention or want to make anyone feel bad. People mean well and new moms can be overly sensitive (or at least I can be overly sensitive and dwell on harmless comments). I get that, I have been there, and I am still currently walking through this; however, it means quite a lot when people genuinely take interest in how the new mom is handling the new life, how her marriage is being strengthened through motherhood, and how she is growing in her relationship with Christ through this new season.
When a new mom is able to express things other than sleep schedule and breast feeding, you will see new feelings and raw emotions that were otherwise hidden. If you haven't taken the time to talk to a new mom about how
she is doing, do it, you might be surprised at her struggles and her victories.
I have put together a list of the "10 new mom must-haves." If you know a brand new mom, I have a feeling she would appreciate these sweet sentiments and possibly shed a tears of gratitude (because I have done that very thing). New moms, feel free to chime in with your own ideas. These would be great to bring to a baby shower, a postpartum hospital visit, or a home visit.
1. Ask if she needs anything picked up from the store ($-$$)
If there is one thing a new mom does not have anymore, it is a spare moment. A new mom probably won't ask for help with small tasks because she doesn't want to inconvenience you. Just tell her you are out around town and are swinging by the store to pick up a few things and wondered if she needed anything. She might say no, and that's okay. The fact that you reached out and offered will mean the world to her. Maybe just bring by one of the below items if you feel like wowing your friend.
2. Starbucks gift card with a new mug ($$)
Every human can appreciate caffeine, especially a new mom running on broken hours of sleep. Fancy it up with a new mug or a bag of coffee for the house.
3. Silver bar necklace with name engraved ($$$)
Want to make a new mom cry? Get her a silver bar necklace with the name of her child. She won't take it off. Click
HERE to get yours.
4. Gift card to her favorite clothing store ($$)
Moms really want to feel good in their new body. It takes a while for a new mom to love the skin she is in, but maybe a new shirt or new jeans will help her make the transition.
5. Victoria's secret house slippers and eye mask ($$)
New moms are going to spend a great deal of time at home for the first few weeks. Receiving fuzzy house slippers is an unexpected happy and will keep her warm when the house is cooler for baby. Eye mask will provide extra darkness so when she is asleep, she stays asleep until the baby needs her.
6. Creative journal with sharpie pens ($)
A new journal may help the new, tired mom stay focused and in the Word. It is very easy to neglect quiet times in the first few months because new mom is extremely tired and any free time she does have, she will want to spend it resting. Don't underestimate the power of a cute journal and new pens.
7. Loose leaf mother's milk tea, a bottle of honey, and a brew basket ($)
A new mom who is breast feeding will surely appreciate this thoughtful surprise. Milk supply varies will every woman, but this tea will help guarantee a little more supply than initially expected.
8. Comfy and sexy panties ($)
All a girl wants is to feel sexy after giving birth and bleeding for a month. New panties might honestly make her cry. Just make sure you get the right size so she feels like she can conquer the world.
9. Printed photos of baby for office ($)
If new mom is planning to return to work, it might be a hard transition. She may have fears about who she is leaving baby with for the day or just might not want to be at work at all. Printing out a picture or two of the sweet baby for her to take to work will provide a level of comfort only she will understand. Spice it up with a fun frame.
10. Lavender bubble bath salts with a bath pillow and candle ($)
As much as baby has cried within the first few months, a new mom probably could fill a jar with her tears. It's a rollercoaster that with stretch emotions thin. Give her an excuse to dive into the bathtub and relax with a candlelit bath.
Do you have any other ideas as to what might help a new mom feel loved and comfortable in her new skin? Comment below.
