first 2 fruits of the spirit as foreigners

let me first start this post by saying i love storms.  when it seems like a storm will completely derail your plans, you in fact get to make new plans and new adventures.  that is why i get to write this post right now.  last night in starkville we had a huge storm with potential for tornadoes.  wind gusts tore trees down and knocked out power lines.  this morning, it was found out that there was no power at my work, so i did not have to teach today.  one day's inconvenience can be other day's production.  i'm so blessed for today.  a minute to slow back down, unwind, and smile.  grab your coffee.  let's dig into God's word together.

what sets a christ-follower a part from the world?  because after all we are called aliens and strangers to this world. (ephesians 2:19 and 1 peter 2:11) we are exiles and foreigners.  a christ-follower is not a citizen of this world, but a citizen of heaven.  an ambassador.  how are ambassadors recognized?

this was the question asked by one of the high school students at fellowship of christian athletes a few weeks ago.  this got me thinking, how am i different and called to live differently than the rest of the world? can the world tell that the holy spirit lives inside of me by the fruit i am producing?

this brings me to the fruits of the spirit mentioned in galatians 5: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  the holy spirit dwells inside of me now that i have surrendered my life to christ.  i have the same power that rose jesus from the grave inside of me because i am an ambassador for christ.  think about that for a second.  if you are a christ-follower, you have that very same power in you! we have all the freedom and power in the world to produce 1000 fold the very fruits that the spirit has given us.

now before you jump on my case saying that you don't have to be a christ-follower to display these traits, i encourage you to read john 10:10.

the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.  i came that they may have life and have it abundantly.  

so yes, someone who has chosen not to walk in the ways of the lord can definitely display these traits, but there is no hope of walking in the ever-satisfying fullness of jesus christ.

love:
mark 12:31 says that we are to love our neighbor as ourself and that there is no other commandment greater than this.  if we could keep this commandment, there would be no need for any other rule in the world.; however, we are terrible at loving anyone (including ourselves).  i am so comforted that jesus has given us a beautiful example of love, he laid his life down for us on the cross.  1 john 4:7 says that love comes from God. 1 john 3:16-18 says

"this is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. and we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.  if anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?  dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."

so in our every day actions- the way we treat people, the way we serve others, the words we say, the way we love each other in a way 1 corinthians 13 depicts-people will see that this type of christ-like love is different than the fleeting love that the world offers.

love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  love never fails. but where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

1 corinthians 13 love is a difficult love to show, but it is possible because, as a christ-follower, i have the holy spirit living who directs and leads me.  

click for more verses referring to "love" in the bible

joy:
the dictionary defines joy as "a state of happiness of felicity" but the bible seems to define joy in a similar, yet different manner.  biblical joy does not flee regardless of situations.  james (1:2-3) tells us to consider it joy when we go through trials!? the author of hebrews (12:2) tells us that it was the joy of jesus to die on the cross for us!?  how can this be?  joy is something that is to fill us regardless of situations, but as i look around, there is a lot of unhappiness.
well, that's where biblical joy and happiness diverge.  happiness is an emotion set be circumstances.  i am happy because i got a cat, i am happy because i got a raise, i am happy because my husband liked my food.
the joy of the lord comes upon us when we trust in jesus (romans 15:13).  i love the way peter states in his first book.
1 peter 1:8-9

"though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,  for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls."

proverbs 10:28 says that

the prospect of the righteous is joy, but the hopes of the wicked come to nothing.

in pursing christ, we get an unexplainable joy that stays with us no matter what happens each day

i want to finish the rest of the fruits of the spirit soon.  remember, as a christ-follower, the love you display to the people around you and the joy you express regardless of the highs and lows of life can be used to point people to the One who gave you life.  you are a foreigner here, you are not to look like the world.  be set apart, in action and in truth.

scrawling the scriptures

happy saturday from mississippi.  it is nearly 6pm and i have not changed out of my pajamas.  it's amazing that i even put my contacts in today.  this is the first weekend in what seems like months that i have ZERO plans.  at one point in my life i would have been distraught to have an idle day, but not today.  it has taken me all day to sip on one pot of coffee and i was able to take as much time for my quiet time as i wanted.  so, happy saturday indeed.

i wanted to take today's post to highlight the importance of journaling.

▣ do you wish you could remember what was going on in your life when God was teaching you patience or self-control?

▣ have you ever found yourself scribbling in the margins of your bible just wishing you had a scrap piece of paper to jot your notes on?

▣ do you feel like you would make the spiritual discipline of prayer a higher priority if you could write them down?

▣ do you ever feel like you wish you knew how to journal at all?

all these questions, well, that's me constantly.

if you are anything like me, you are a visual learner and writing things down helps you: solidify your thoughts, meditate on what you've just heard or read, learn scripture, and keep track of what you are going through at any given moment.  just think about how many notes you write on a daily basis: you jot something on a napkin, send a text, put a remeinder in your phone, tell your friend to "reminder to" or "don't let me forget to"...

from time to time, i hand-make journals.  i love being creative when time allows for it.  today, on this plan-less day, i decided to make a journal because i have been without one for nearly two months.

side story, i kept a journal for each month of the year in 2012-2013.  it was so neat to go back and see what God was teaching me at the moment that i met mark, now my husband.

but why do you journal?

some scholar's speculate that the disciples must have kept some sort of record of their time with jesus in order to compose the gospels with such incredible detail, but yes, all scripture is God breathed.
but think about it.  when you take a picture, you're more likely to remember who you were with and where you were and funny inside jokes.  same with a journal, when you pen something on paper, there is a higher chance that you will remember what you read, where you were, and what you were feeling.

why do i journal? because i am easily distracted during my quiet time. doodling and writing verses down helps me focus on what i read.  i love being able to go back in my notes and see what God was teaching me.

so how do you journal?

there is no real answer to this.  you write down verses, you write down your response to those verses, you jot down how it applies to your life, you draw a picture or highlight importance thoughts.  write down a prayer.  pick out a psalm, jot down your favorite parts, and make it your prayer for the day.

whatever you decide to do, don't quit.  though journaling might be a foreign affair at first, it will become natural and you will look back on your days excited to see where God is going to take you next.

check out my friend cassie's 10-step guide for studying the bible.

6 Lessons in Marriage After 6 Months

It seems like just yesterday that I was driving through the Chick-fil-a drive-thru on my way to my own wedding.  It literally seems like I said yes to my best friend last week.  How did the time escape me this easily?  Could it be that I have been enjoying my life as a compliment to my husband so much that i have forgotten to smell the roses?

I am currently sitting at 929 coffee bar and I am thoroughly enjoying a jasmine iced tea.  We had our wedding reception here at the coffee shop and I am sitting in the location approximately where my beautiful wedding cake made it's home. 

It is September 8, which means it is not only my mom's birthday, but it is our 6-month anniversary.  Now I am not one to make a huge deal about monthly anniversaries, but when we get into years, that will be noteworthy.  I think that a ½  year of marriage is pretty exciting.  (not that there was ever a reason to doubt we wouldn't make it that long)

Marriage is a beautiful arrangement that God has created.  I have never known a man like I know Mark, and that is an intimidating yet comforting fact.  Marriage is work and compromise and giggles and nerf-gun wars and bike rides and pillow talk and intimate prayers and burnt food and budgeting and so much fun.  

I have learned so much in these past few months.  I want to share 6 of them with you representing 6-months of marriage.

1. It's not about comparing you marriage to other couples

My relationship with Mark should never be compared to anyone else's relationship, and neither should yours.  That will set you up for hurt feelings, disappointments, pride, and jealousy. End of story. 

2. Let him know how much you respect him

Before marriage counseling, I knew that men and women ticked to a different clock but I couldn't exactly put my finger on it.  Mark and i both read the biblical-based book Love and Respect during our engagement. It opened my eyes to how similarly to how I desire to be loved by Mark, he desires that amount of respect-not in a misogynistic or totalitarian way-but in the way the God so perfectly crafted the male personality.  This has been such a difficult concept for me to grasp because I think this idea of "respect" gets pushed aside in our culture when dealing with relationships.  You respect your teachers, coaches, friend's parents, servers and hostesses, but.....in a romantic relationship that's rarely preached.  I have frequently left Mark notes letting him know that I respect the way he leads the high school youth group or the way he doesn't complain when he has so much to do.  I have told Mark that I respect the way he had led us financially and spiritually.  I have learned that it's not just saying that you really 'appreciate' your husband or that you really 'like' when he does X or Y, but it is when you tell your man that you respect what he is doing that allows something inside of him to be strengthened.  Let your husband know all the things you respect about him. 

3. When your feelings get hurt, lovingly communicate that

Though Mark and I have never gotten into a fight or heated argument, we have hurt each other's feelings more than one time.  Usually it is me being an overly sensitive female who interpreted something he said incorrectly and then I close off all interaction, I retreat to mean-and-spiteful-Renee which in turn hurts his feelings to the n-th degree.  There have been times were we have stayed up talking in bed about how my feelings got hurt and how his feelings got hurt. I let some tension build for a few days because I had really gotten my feelings hurt after we had not spent much time together.  Mark and I decided on a rare occasion to go out to eat at Buffalo Wild Wings after church one Sunday.  Over spicy garlic buffalo wings, my conversation ended with tears (the kind that feel good coming out because 30-pounds are released) in my eyes and Mark's hand in mine.  I communicated how my feelings had gotten hurt not realizing that his were too.  After we talked and reconciled and moved past it like nothing had happened.  Make sure you don't hold anything inside even if you feel like it is silly because it will cause a divide.  Talk about it.

4. Keeping his bottle filled is not an option, it's essential

I knew that going into marriage I would have to make sacrifices and do things when I didn't want to.  You and your husband are both separate bottles.  Your job is to make sure your husband's bottle stays full and his job is to make sure yours stays full.  You are to pour yourself out in completeness to ensure that your husband is full of your (AND ONLY YOUR) love and respect, because if you don't fill it, someone or something else will.  After a long day of not seeing each other, Mark's bottle is nearly drained.  I greet him with a kiss and a hug and it starts to fill.  As we talk about how our day went and what bugged us and what went well, the bottle fills more.  

So what happens when you skip the greeting hug because your tired and ticked-off that you got a speeding ticket on the way home?  What happens when instead of asking him how his day went, you start complaining about how he didn't do what he said he would and how you wished he would be more considerate when it came to moving things in the kitchen?  

The bottle drains....faster and faster.  

Well, speaking for most men, a bottle gets filled the fastest with sexual intimacy.  Though that won't be all men's primary love language, it's a huge part of the way God designed the man.  When you fail to engage in sexual intimacy, he is quickly tempted to look for that satisfaction in other places: a co-worker's hand shake or compliment quickly fills his parched bottle, the nearly-pornographic ad on the internet seems incredibly tempting to click and then you now have become objectified while his bottle gets filled by another, or he "all the sudden" becomes to busy for home because he is finding more bottle-filling activities mowing the grass or working or at the ball field.  Sexual intimacy is not an option, it is a necessary, spiritual, and gifted aspect of your marriage designed by God.  Keep your man's bottle filled, and it won't be a problem keeping yours filled.

5. Do what you used to do before marriage

It's not like marriage should be all that significant of a change.  I realize that after marriage you live together, can have sex, might move to a new city, and get new jobs, but the relational and emotional aspect of your relationship should be very little affected.  Mark and I frequented coffee shops, sat in the hammock, went on road trips, took random drives, got surprise sonic route 44s, sit and read our bibles or books together, and write notes to each other (Mark more than me, I can't keep up with that dude).  I felt that at the beginning of our marriage we got away from doing some of the things we absolutely loved because we were trying to be a "perfect" couple.  I have learned that marriage is just doing life together, doing what you love with the one you love forever.  It doesn't have to look a certain way or fit a perfect mold or be highlighted in Cosmo or Pintrest in order to be good.  Do what you used to do before marriage, because that is what keeps it fun.  

6. Keep a budget sooner than later

I could write a mountain of crap about this topic, but I won't.  We no longer stress out about the money God has blessed us with because it's his already; however, we want to be faithful stewards and not just look in our bank account to see a number knowing we can make it.  We started using YNAB and have been very excited to allocate our money to certain places.  Keep a budget, sooner than later, because being careless with God's money will bite you in the rear.  Don't say I didn't tell you so.  (if you do want to use YNAB, i have a code that can help you get a discount)

All in all, I am by no means a professional wife and I don't want you to get the vibe that I somehow have perfected the art of wifery.  I don't have all the answers and I am learning how to handle situations in a more effective and Christ-like manner each day.  I can't wait to see what the Lord blesses Mark and I with in the next few months.   

What are some lesson you have learned in marriage?