be a DO-er

"but be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourself.  for if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror.  for he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like.  but the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and preserves being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing." - james 1: 22-25

"everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who build his house on the rock.  and the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. and everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand.  and the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and a great was the fall of it" - matthew 7:24-27

these are two very convicting verses that have hit me recently.  i am studying james in my quiet time right now.  when i got to verses 22-25 in james it instantly reminded me of the wise man and the foolish man, not because of the fun bible song that talks about building a house on the rocks, but because the wise man [listened] and the foolish man [did not listen].

there were several times growing up i heard exactly what my mom was saying, but more often than not did i not follow through with those directions.  what happened?  obviously something went wrong, i was defeated, i got hurt, i got in trouble, i hurt someone else's feelings, etc.  really the list would never end.  what went wrong?  i HEARD my mom....i UNDERSTOOD exactly what she was saying.  so where is the problem?  i didn't LISTEN! i didn't DO what she requested of me. listening requires action.  hearing requires acknowledging.  very different.

so when jesus tells us to love, and care, and provide, and tell others about him, and pursue holiness, and grow in the word, and give generously, and repent, and produce fruits of the spirit (galatians 5) and we DONT!? what will happen?

well, when the storm in our life comes we will have nothing to stand on. no foundation, we will be washed away.  and just like i didn't listen to my mom, when we don't listen to jesus the consequences can be eternal and magnified.  we must run to the cross out of obedience and love, not out of fear of consequence.

be a DOER, not just a HEARER. 

it sets you apart as Christ has called you to be set apart. 

five for friday

this post is inspired by my friend cassie.

1 | ONE: 
prom is this weekend and i am required to go as a chaperone.  this will be one of the few times in my adult life that i actually get to get dolled up (age appropriate now) and have a night on the town.  mark will be going with me.  i asked him to go to prom with me and he said yes, then he second-thought himself knowing the msu baseball plays saturday night. he's going.

2 | TWO:
kroger brand black-cherry fruit on the bottom yogurt is literally the best thing since sliced bread.  it is the right combination of sweet and milky.  you should try it.

3 | THREE:
after a 10-month hiatus of running, i finally laced back up.  i am averaging about 25 miles a week right now.  i should be going steadily up in the next few weeks with a road race hopefully near the end of may.  i really miss my track teammates at mississippi state.  recently i have tried to leave work ASAP to make it to the track before their workout ends so i can finish with them.  this not only gives me motivation to keep running, but it reminds me that friendships formed on the track are so valuable and unmatched.

4 | FOUR:
i love spontaneous trips.  last weekend mark and i drove to atlanta for easter weekend and bought city passes.  this city pass included tickets to: the zoo, the georgia aquarium, the museum of natural history, the world of coca-cola, and a tour of the cnn building.  we got to do everything but the cnn building because the tours were "sold out."  it was such a great trip filled with a lot of fun, but rainy, memories.  we ate at the original varsity which is a burger joint.  if you have never been there, you truly are missing an experience of a life time.

5 | FIVE:
"do not walk in the statutes of your fathers, not keep their rules, nor defile yourselves with their idols.  i am the Lord your God; walk in my statutes, and be careful to obey my rules, and keep my Sabbaths holy that they may be a sign between me and you, that you may know that i am the Lord your God." --ezekiel 20:18-20
"so flee from youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. and the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness.  God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil,after being captured by him to do his will." -2 timothy 2:22-26
i have to remember that because i am so outspoken about my faith that people are watching me as a Christ-follower to see how i react to situations and treat people.

Cookie Cutter Ministry Wife

Edited 9-23-17

I am sitting in my classroom which has no windows, though it does boast a 3'x3' sky light. Coffee is brewing in a single serve: Folgers black silk.  Something about "black silk" just makes it sound like a a spider, but a sexy spider.  I am on my planning period (first block of the day) and I am fairly confident I know at least half of what I am doing today.

One of the best pieces of advice I received before officially becoming a ministry wife was from Paula, the former FBC Starkville youth pastor's wife.  She said to me, "A lot of people will try to tell you how to be a wife in ministry and the things you need to accomplish in order to fill that roll. Well, don't let anyone tell you what roll a ministry wife should play in the church. Be you."

Being a cookie cutter ministry wife would seriously damage the Church, the local body of Christ, and fellowship with the women in my sphere of influence.

And I want to take a second to admit to you that I have sinfully judged pastors' wives in the past for not being involved in certain ministries or not fulfilling certain expectations of my own.  I have sinfully placed pastors' wives on a pedestal where they most certainly fell quickly and painfully from.  Lord Jesus, forgive me.

God created me unlike anyone, and to start filling jobs because that's what is "expected" by the pastor's wife hinders what God has actually called me to do.  In fact, there are no spelled out guidelines or rolls of a "ministry wife" in the Bible, as pointed out by Gloria Furman in the book "Pastor's Wife."  My approval is in God, not man, so Christ has freed me from meeting the (at times) ridiculous expectations of others. (Guys, you really don't want me leading worship or playing the piano, okay?!)  This is a call to fulfill your ministry, whether you are a mom, teacher, coach, accountant, business woman, clerk, dentist, nurse, doctor, student, or mechanic.  As a pastor's wife and a woman passionate about women's ministry in general, I must be focused on exalting Christ, my redeemer, and Lord from start to finish (Kathleen Nielson in Word-Filled Women's Ministry).  We must first be concerned about our own rolls as Christ-followers.  My aim, in anything I do, must be the glorification of Christ and personal sanctification, if not, I have missed the point of ministry and have glorified myself instead.  My roll as a "pastor's wife" is secondary to my calling as a Christ-follower.  Dear Christ-follower, be you, because God designed you with special qualities and unique gifts.  When you try to live up to a (secondary) expectation that others have incessantly and quite needlessly placed on you, you quench the beauty God wants to light inside you.

Even in light of the events with Driscoll, this video has immediate truth. A fabulous reminder to be myself and to fulfill my ministry in my sphere of influence.

ponder the path

this blog is titled "mulling over my morning coffee."  well, due to the recent life event switch, i don't really have an option to mull over my morning coffee.  i suppose i could get up at 5am like many successful people, but the pillows of wonder have a vice grip on my body.  no, i will not get up at 5, or 5:30, or even 6.  i prefer now to sleep until my alarm has buzzed nearly 5 times and i drag myself to the bathroom where it appears that brand new light bulbs have been plugged in to their sockets each time i flip on the light.

teaching is a lot of fun.  marraige is funner.

there are a lot of things i miss about one year ago at this time.  for example, mulling over my morning coffee (or rather mid morning 10am) and writing blogs like it was my job.  i miss getting to read any and every book in sight as if my mind was starving.  i miss going outside in the rain or sun 10-15 times a day.  yes, you can say that i miss a lot of things, but instead of harping on every detail of things of the past, i want to clue you in on how exciting this chapter of my life has been and how faithful the Author of my story is each day. (ok, i sort of teared up writing this paragraph.  change is hard)

ponder: to think about something before reaching a conclusion or decision, to carefully consider.

i need to ponder some things.

since i started working in august at the high school teaching microbiology, chemistry, and physical science, my relationship with the Lord took a backseat and i didn't buckle Him up.  so when i turned a new direction, it felt as if the Lord flew out the window due to newton's first law of motion, inertia.  i became so busy with the hum-drum of each day trying to survive each day in new territory while taking graduate level courses online with the most poorly-planned deadlines i've ever encountered.  making lesson plans and learning the material to teach students was a 19 hour a day affair, with my only breaks to sleep, of which i did minimal.  mark was so kind to put up with me through that time.  things i love stopped: reading, running, drawing on coffee cups, driving to the country just to hear the birds, spending time with the Lord at any point in my day. it stopped out of fear of failure in my job, which in my mind was a considerable fear seeing as the first day in the classroom was the first day since may 2008 i had stepped foot into a high school one.  i knew all the sunday school lines to recite to myself about how God is the one in control and he will get you through tough times and how i should cast all my anxieties on the Lord, but i was so consumed with keeping my head above water that i didn't want to listen to the very words that would be my safety float. the things i love stopped, but did they have to? should they have?

no.

and no.

those were easy, and mostly rhetorical questions.

around christmas, my spirits were lifted as i was granted a two week vacation away from the stressors of my job and headed towards a new destination out of town.  it didnt matter where, i just wanted to get away.  ever been in that situation?  looking back, i think i just needed a refresher and a pick-me-up.  i wasn't running away, just got a chance to "restart" in sorts.

after returning to my mississippi home after a quick christmas, so many things were happening.  i was within 3 months of marrying my best human friend, i now had to instruct 70 new students in las sciencias, and i was one semester away from obtaining that master's degree.  but this came with a breath of fresh air.  after seeing how relying on my own strength tired me out like a dog, asking the Lord for strength but not really believing He was the one getting me through each 90-minute class period, i was done trying to "get through" another semester of teaching by myself.  i was sad and tired. sad because i realized that my Hope and Comfort wasn't as alive as i wanted. tired because i kept playing catch up with sermons or discipleship or nearly abandoned it all together.

about 40 days before getting married things changed.  it didn't matter if i forgot to set up the lab, copy 50 5-page tests, create a rubric, or buy supplies for a demonstration.  i was going to do what it took to spend time with my Rock.  and wouldn't you believe this, after spending time with Christ in prayer or reading in my bible, that EVERYTHING always got done.  someone slap me next time this happens (i've actually probably said this before because i feel that with any life change this happens, ok so slap me please).  i don't mean to sound idealistic and say well if you spend 45 minutes in the Word, then the Lord will magically give you 6 hours to finish every thing you needed to get done.  no, it's hard.  i still lost sleep, but what was exciting about growing in likeness to my Savior is that i no longer had to worry if what i needed to get done would get done.  i got my priorities in line and in order, and everything else paled in comparison.

the Lord never stopped pursuing me.  he was there, he didn't fly through the window (thanks newton).  he stayed in the backseat just long enough for me to see that i really didn't want to drive this life by myself.  so thankful for his mercy and grace.

ponder the path of your feet, then all your ways will be sure
proverbs 4:26

so let me tell you, reader who will probably go through a major life change in the inching nearer future, don't stop. don't stop reading, don't you dare stop reading.  i know it's hard.  i know it's frustrating. i know it is tiring. i know the last thing you want to do after talking, typing, presenting, calculating, and stacking all day is to read small words on a thin page, but they are more than just words.  it is a breath of fresh air, a love letter written with you in mind, an encouraging note in your lunch box, and the way to Life.  so don't stop reading because you are afraid.

it won't be long until my next post, but i really should go sip on some java.  i've only had one cup today, am i sick?

don't stop doing the things you love.  don't. okay.....no i mean it, DON'T!

"here's my heart Lord take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above"