i want __________ to define me

carmelo anthony, basketball icon, now says that he doesn’t want basketball to be the sole entity that defines him. now, i havent read the article, but i don’t think i need to. carmelo says he doesn’t want to be defined by basketball, so that means he does want something to define him.

i can understand this to an extent.  running had set the course of my life for nearly 16 years.   my life with running is all i had ever known, until one day it just ended. so, like anyone with a new beginning before them, i ran trial and error protocols to see what could be suitable to define me and what could not make the grade. 

similarly, mr. basketball has only known fame, fortune, basketball; and that too, will one day end. so why not do exactly what carmelo is doing? fill it with something more? is wanting to be known for more than just a game so wrong? leave a legacy right?  

however, what i feel carmelo is juggling here is unrest. there is a lack of contentment. there is a desire to be known for something new.

is carmelo’s new definition going to satiate his appetite to be completely defined?

we’ve seen this before. i’ve seen this before. you’ve seen this before.

day to day our bank account changes 

week to week our favorite football teams let us down

month to month our number of followers shifts

year to year our marriages change

and yet, we still try to put our identity in so many things when one of our demi-gods fails.

so if money, relationships, fame, success, kids, sports, a new tv, a new team, a new house, a new car, a new city, new friends, or a new job won’t permanently satisfy all that we crave, what will?

jesus.  i know that seems simplistic, but it is. allowing jesus to define your life gives you the empowering freedom from the bondage of trying to be a better, more-popular, more-successful, more-beautiful, more-knowledgable version of you.

do you recognize that those things never satisfy? 

those things, they aren’t you.

those things, they don’t get to determine your worth in life.

those things, they will always leave you empty.

those things, they can’t save you.

genesis 1:27

so God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

galatians 2:20

i have been crucified with christ. it is no longer i who live, but christ who lives in me.  and the life i now live in the flesh i live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

john 4:13-14

jesus said to her, “everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that i will give him will never be thirsty again. the water that i will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life. 

philippians 3:20

but our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a savior, the lord jesus christ.

2 corinthians 5:16-19

from now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. even though we once regarded christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer.  therefore, if anyone is in christ, he is a new creation. the old has passed away; behold, the new has come.  all this is from God, who through christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. 

ephesians 4:24

and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

1 peter 2:9

but you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 

ephesians 2:8

for grace you have been saved through faith. and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, os that no one may boast. for we are his workmanship, created in christ jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. 

luke 9:23

and he said to all, “if anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily, and follow me.”

psalm 23:1

the LORD is my shepherd, i shall not want.

---

your identity is complete in the blood of jesus. are you tired of trying to be good enough, trying to fill your life with these trinkets and toys that temporarily sustain us but will ultimately fail us miserably? i know i am. i can never measure up and never will in my own strength.  i could never have enough, until i surrendered everything i had to jesus. when jesus took my life, i found that he was all i ever needed, he alone satisfied this deep longing to be defined. 

i struggle with identity crisis on a day to day basis, i do. i’ve been outed forever and there are no secrets.  but because my hope is set in christ, i know i can come before the feet of jesus and repent of my sin justified. it will be a struggle until i meet my savior face to face when my glorification in his presence is complete. 

i want to leave you with this question: if you were honest with yourself, where is your identity rooted?

blog tour: behind the scenes

i wanted to take a minute to take you on a tour of my favorite blogs.  i was challenged (about a month ago) by my friend cassie to share my favorite blogs.  you can find her very own blog tour HERE.  

cassie blogs religiously at SAGE. we met on instagram while she was in scotland.  i am not sure what #hashtag brought us together, but i am glad it happened.  cassie helped fund a mission trip to vancouver for me in 2012.  i have seen how, though this world is big, can be made so incredibly small.  cassie got married this summer to her best friend, they moved from arizona to missouri, and are parents to two beautiful, cuddly cats.  she has such a passion for friendships and meeting people like i have never seen before.  from our short virtual friendship, you can tell immediately that cassie is a passionate person, and lover of jesus christ.  she is currently working on her PhD in clinical psychology.  please take a moment to visit her lovely blog, SAGE, where she blogs her heart out and see what wonderful connections she has made across the world.  

behind the scenes of MULLING OVER MY MORNING COFFEE

what am i working on?

i never really work on anything. most of my posts are spontaneous.  whenever i have a long weekend or break from work i love to go on a post-fest.  i am currently trying to perfect a Godly relationship post. it is a response post from a woman's point-of-view of what men should or should not do in a Godly dating relationship.  my original post, though some may think a bit idealistic, is from a genuine man's point-of-view and can be read HERE. if you want to be apart of this current project, men or women, please please please add your input HERE.   

how does my work differ from others of its genre?

my blog, i like to this is different, because it takes a minimalist look and (it is my hope and desire) packs its readers full of thought provoking questions and biblical ideas.  my blog is a faith-based blog.  i don't post about recipes, fashion, or kids. not that any of those things are wrong or bad to blog about, it just isn't my personal style.  i like to blog about what the Lord is teaching me and how that applies to my life.  i hope the readers of my blog find encouragement, hope, and some sort of way of relating to my weird and unpredictable life.

why do i write what i do?

i write to encourage others, but also, i write to encourage myself.  writing helps me think through how jesus is working in my life and allows me to reflect on days past.  my blog is a timeline of my walk with jesus.  i personally like reading old blog posts filled with scripture, it speaks to me in a new way each time.

how does your writing process work?

my writing process is probably pretty different from others.  though i am a huge planner outside the blogosphere, writing at MULLING OVER MY MORNING COFFEE is an opportunity to be completely sporadic and spontaneous.   this might make being a loyal reader hard, and i don't blame you, but i don't have a set time of when i post things.  it just doesn't work for me.  when i have an urge to write, i write immediately. 

next stops on the blog tour:

aubrey bennett pens her thoughts and emotions at WARS AND LATTES. i've known aubrey since the fall of 2012.  it's funny how we came to be friends.  though we have mutual friends, we first sat down over coffee at starbucks at mississippi state.  we talked for awhile about most things under the sun.  from the very first day, humble aubrey was vulnerable with me. she told me how she became a christian, where she was at with relationships, what she wanted (or thought) to do with the rest of her life, and how jesus was constantly molding her.  aubrey is a true family girl.  if anything came in the way of her and her family, she would find a way to stop it.  aubrey is a friend.  when i say friend, i don't mean like we hang out and know a few things about each other.  aubrey is a true friend.  when you talk to her, she listens. she cares deeply and has more empathy when it comes to her friends than i probably have in my little pinky.  this compassion and beauty comes out in her blog and what she writes.  aubrey mostly writes about what the Lord is teaching her in her daily walk with him, how she handles marriage, and discusses any books or passages she reads.  i hope you take a moment to look through aubrey's beautiful blog at WARS AND LATTES.

meggan franks writes over at MOM AGAINST THE MARATHON.  meggan is my cross-country coach's wife, but so much more than that.  we met my freshman year mississippi state university in 2008.  meggan and my coach had been married for almost a year.   i got to run with meggan several times throughout my collegiate running career.  i  cherished my runs with meggan, especially through the summer.  she helped me grow as a runner and i admire her work-ethic and will-power.  meggan is not only a supportive wife, but she is a phenomenal mom.  she has two kids: maddie and patrick. meggan is a running beast. do you know of anyone who can run (she would consider it waddling, but she runs) while 39 weeks pregnant!? do you know anyone who starts doing workouts 6-weeks after giving birth and can run 7-min mile pace just a few weeks after giving birth!? do you know anyone who can do so much of what she loves while being a supportive wife and hardcore community volunteer!? check out meggan's blog.  you can track her amazing progress through road races, training, canadian olympic qualifiers, trail runs, and every day mommy-life at her blog MOM AGAINST THE MARATHON.

i hope you have enjoyed this blog tour.  be sure to check out these three amazing women who take time out of their very busy schedules to write what is on their hearts and what is going on in their every day lives.  

Comparison and Approval

Do you ever try and try and try, and it is just never enough?  You never can win the approval of your co-worker, and no matter how nice you are, it's never up to their standards.  You can never win the approval of your family who just doesn't get you and your jesus-y lifestyle. You seem to never be able to get the approval of your friends, blog-world, boss, people on the bus, etc.  Do you ever feel like this?  Like anything you do, even when it is done with the most pure intentions, just doesn't cut it.  Do you ever compare yourself to other people, maybe even subconsciously?  Take this for example: Everything is going great, actually each new day seems like it is the best day, until you discover....that someone has done it better....or gets paid more for the same job......or has more followers....or cares more than you do....or has more craft skills.....or is entirely more thoughtful than you tend to be....or has a better since of fashion than you.....or....or....or.......a trap of comparison, of approval.

It hits you square in the face when you were on cloud nine, and all the sudden you fell off the rainbow you sat on and landed face-first in a steaming pile of "you'll never measure up."

Ok, before you start thinking, "this girl is psychotic and an attention hog and obviously has some serious personal issues she needs to work on stat," could you please take a look at your life?  

I mean, have you been there?  Am I the ONLY one who has struggled with this? Am I being weird? 

I think, especially as women, we have this pressure on us to make the grade when it comes to being a mom, wife, co-worker, friend.  Maybe that expectation is all a figment of my imagination, but we try to win the approval of others....and through those approvals of others, we try to approve ourselves.

Trying to please other people is completely useless and gets us no where in life.  

"For am I now seeking the approval of man or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10

"For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one the Lord commends."
2 Corinthians 10:18

I am so glad that, even though these thoughts can plague me from time to time, that my hope is not wrapped up in a whether or not i am an A+ baker or have the super-natural ability to wipe 2 snotty noses while eating a gluten-free turkey burger and balancing a budget.   I am so glad that my hope is not wrapped up in whether or not I get 12 zillion hits on this blog or can sew my husbands knickers. I am so glad that my hope is not in how much money I don't make or what type of food my cat eats. Because, to be honest, I don't like having added pressure or unrealistic expectations on me.  I don't like to compare myself to other people, because it's depressing.  I know who I am and who I am not.  

My hope is in Christ, and while the reality of day to day living is obviously there, I can fully rest assured that my hope is in the resurrection of Jesus Christ.  God looks at me, and because of God's mercy on my life, he sees Jesus.  By his grace alone, I was able to surrender my life to him.  God approves of me, the way I am in Christ.  Nothing added.  

God doesn't see, Renee: the sub-par cook; Renee: the promise breaker; Renee: the deadline miss-er; Renee: the disobedient daughter. He sees Jesus. He sees perfect.  He sees approved.   

I don't have to compare myself to other people. I don't have to prove myself to other people. I don't have to approve myself.  The only one we need to examine our lives against is Jesus.  How close can we come to looking like Jesus in our every day?  You can only look like Jesus in the power of Jesus, and yes, we will fail, but in our repentance and his mercy, he sees Jesus. Forever.  

You don't have to be good enough, you just have to have Jesus.