jehovah jireh

grab your coffee, and come sit with me.  i'm currently drinking the left over coffee from the pot this morning.  no, its not the greatest, but at 8pm it will suffice for my worn out body, my pounding headache, and my desire for the coffee flavor.

i wanted to take a minute to share what God has been teaching me for the past few months.   it's a challenging topic, one that i am still mulling out in my mind and trying to give God all the glory, and learning to truly depend on Christ.

if you were to rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being "not at all" and 10 being "i never falter," what would you give yourself in this scenario: "i believe jesus provides for my every need."

"i believe jesus provides for my every need."

see, 2.5 months ago, i would have said that i believed that God provided for me with a resounding 10, but when you took a second to examine my life, there was no action to prove my words were genuine which allots me to a 1. you would have seen each day being carried out in my own power: my anxieties boiling over into relationships, illogical fears keeping me up at night, tension when it came to monetary discussions, and simply taking credit for things in my life.  

so what happened in the last 2.5 months that made me so quickly back my words up with action? do i really believe that jesus provides for my every need.  yes, i truly believe that the One who gave up his life for me provides for every need (not want) that i have.  i believe that he delights in our joy which comes from our steadfast obedience to him.   i believe that the One who clothes the flowers in such ways that make us speechless and the One who has fed each sparrow for the day, will provide for my every need.

now, writing this blog post does not mean that i have it all together.  it doesn't mean that i have some how conquered the trap of doubt or insecurity, it doesn't mean that i'm going to give you a 10-point lesson on how to trust the God who provides for your needs.  writing this blog, to me, means that i want to share with you my struggles, but in those struggles, how rewarding it has been to visibly see Christ work around me.

when we say believe, "trust" is a more effective word, because "trust" ensures action.  when you are at a  slumber party as an 8th grader and you and all your girlfriends do the "trust fall" .  you stand in front of your friends with the intention that they will catch you.  trusting your friends means that you have to fall.  trusting your friends means that you believe they will catch you.  trusting means action.

do you trust that jesus, the God of this universe, will provide for your every need?

let's take a look at genesis 3:21.  we are familiar with this chapter, the fall of mankind. 

"and the Lord God made from adam and for his wife garments of skins and clothed them." 

not only is this a picture of God's plan of redemption for man kind, but GOD MADE CLOTHES FOR THEM AND HE CLOTHED THEM! there was no LOFT, there was no GAP, there was no Target!  GOD MADE THEM! GOD CLOTHED THEM! GOD PROVIDED! 

throughout the old testament you see God providing for his people even when they are in the midst of complaining about the materials God provided.  if you just read exodus, you will just want to punch the israelites.  but can i get real with you?  how many times have we been the israelites.  we fail to see what God so graciously has given us.  we complain when its not exactly how we want.  we get tired of God providing the same things day in and day out so we try to take matters in to our own hands.  i don't know about you, but i find myself being a lot like the israelites in exodus waiting for the promise land.  

mark and i started making it a priority to pray that God would come through for us in unexpected ways because we need him.  mostly our prayer was that he would come through financially as we are in a real time of transition.  as a married couple, we started tithing our monthly income and prayed about how God would want us to obediently give our money to impact His kingdom.  now, reader, this was not some jacked up joel osteen theology or "if we pray about it hard enough or will it into existence it will come to fruition" kind of mess, or a "if you give, you will get" idea.  no. we faithfully give to make much of the one who has so generously given to us. we biblically believe that God provides for us so that we can be faithful stewards of his provision and cling to the promise laid out in 2 corinthians 9:8.  we believe he hears our prayers and in God honoring ways, he will provide.

on june 28th, my car exploded.  not literally, but the exaggeration matches my emotions.  in reality, a few hoses in the engine busted and some liquid started leaking somewhere *insert car terminology here.*  regardless, it was stressful, it was late at night, it was raining, and we were 3 hours away from home.   

mark and i call AAA to get it towed because my mom reminded me that i have the card (which expired june 30). as the situation unfolded, we had to ride the 3 hour trip back to starkville inside the tow truck.  mark, being the amazing Godly leader that he is, says that this is an opportunity to share the gospel and we must take it.  doubting in my mind and really just kind of upset with the situation, i go with it because there is really no other viable option.  (goodbye singing out loud and listening to the music that i want to listen to, goodbye peaceful talk with the husband on the way back, goodbye sleeping in the car, goodbye changing out of my bridesmaids dress........my thoughts)  

so we hop in the AAA vehchile and i realize that this lady is going to have to drive to starkville and back (5.5-6 hour trip) and we aren't even going to arrive in starkville until 12:30-1am.  my heart begins to sink at the inconvenience we have caused her.   

the ride starts. 

conversation and small talk ensues and we have been provided with an opportunity to share the gospel to denise, our hilarious and kind driver.   

mark shares the good news of jesus dying on the cross and rising from the dead so we can be cleansed from unrighteousness if we repent of our sins and turn to him. 

we get to starkville. its late. we prayed with denise and wished her well and hoped that she had fun on her upcoming trip to new orleans. 

eventually we get the car fixed, but for a pretty penny.   now, this is in no way to boast about our finances or ourselves.  i want you, reader, to clearly see how God moves.

the car ended up costing up $463.11.  dagger to the heart. not exactly pocket change to us 20-something married folks.  

let's rewind two week prior.  june 19. i got a text message notification from our bank saying that a certain amount of money had been deposited into our account.  this was unusual to both of us so we checked it out online.  i remember mark saying that day, "hey, it's God providing for us!" yes, i believed that God was providing, but i wanted to know where it really came from.  so i called my mom.  mom said that she closed out the wedding account and we could consider the deposit a gift.  tears.  so we transferred that money to our savings account, removing temptation to spend it.  

speed up again.  it's july 1 and we have to pay for the car in order to get it.  where in the world are we going to get $463.11?  oh.......maybe the $463.10 my mom and dad deposited into our bank account 2 weeks prior.  

i couldn't make that story up if i tried.  God financially provided for us, in a time of desperate need, and my mom got to be the avenue through which God worked.  look at our bank statement if you don't believe me.  we paid $0.01 for my car to be fixed.  incredible.  

now, i know that's just one story, but there have been several other things that have allowed us to see God at work: meals provided by a friend, church having too many leftovers so we are given it to take home, football tickets, opportunity to babysit, mini-jobs to earn side money, opportunities to share the gospel, ability for Mark to drive to and from seminary in new orleans once a month without paying for gas, and the list continues.  we have been actively praying that God would provide in enormous ways. (just today, not expecting to go to the game and perfectly content with watching it on the super sweet new jumbotron, we got offered football tickets at a tailgate.  mark looks at me after and says, "in the shower this morning, i prayed that God would be gracious in providing us football tickets so i just knew we would get them.  i feel bad for just kinda expecting it to happen but...you know." and i looked at him and said, "uh, you are supposed to pray with expectance.")

my faith in christ has grown so much because of the ability to see God come through.  this excites me, but also saddens me.  it shouldn't take me seeing God come through on big things like that for me to solidify that God takes care of me because each day i wake up and drink another cup of coffee or see the sunrise is God's grace revealed to me.

but in all, God is glorified.  my faith is growing. my doubts diminishing.  

i don't want to take away the real emotions and dread that hard times can present.  i know what it's like to have nothing, to live on powdered milk.  i know what it's like to have a lot, family vacations every year.  but in all, hard times fall on us all, and we all find ourselves with a predicament.  we can worry and try to fix things on our own or we can believe/trust that Christ will be beside us through it all.

what does worrying get us?  another minute? a raise? a hot wife? a new best friend? a better house? a longer life?

worrying doesn't get us anywhere.  in fact, worrying is in direct opposition to christ.  "worry" says that we don't believe that God will provide for our physical need (not physical wants).  it says that we don't trust that Christ will come through for us.  christ has already given us enough as it is. he DIED for us.  and ROSE for us. and has INVITED us to a personal relationship with him.  but God goes further in providing for our physical needs too.

"therefore do not be anxious saying, 'what shall we eat? or what shall we drink? or what shall we wear?' for the gentiles (unbelievers) seek after all these things, and your heavenly father knows that you need them all" -matthew 6:31-32

"oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! oh fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack. the young lions suffer want and hunger, but those who seek the lord lack no good thing" -psalm 34:8-10

"if you then who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him." -matthew 7:11

"and my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in christ jesus" -philippians 4:19

you are more valuable than ravens (luke 12:24), the Lord provides for you all things that will glorify him.  don't be mistaken.  you're not going to get something just because you want it.  God is in control of that situation, but what ever God gives you, glorify him.  he has provided for your needs so that you can use whatever he has given to you, to make much of him.

do you believe, with your life on display as evidence of your belief, that jesus will provide for your every need?

on a scale of 1-10.  go......

jehovah jireh will provide.